By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
