he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
