I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
