He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You ruined the universe
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
