I smell stomach acid.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
