Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
