I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
