I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
