He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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