That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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