i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
