im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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