oh god the rape fog is back!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
