i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
