I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
