3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
