this beer tastes like vomit already
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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