im about as happy as oj after his trial
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
