Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
