at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
