So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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