the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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