I just saw a hot homeless man
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
