I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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