I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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