Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
