At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize