I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
