I wish I only lived at night.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
