We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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