K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize