I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
