I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
