I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
