im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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