Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Drake has all the answers
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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