Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
