Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
