You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
