I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
