Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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