did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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