Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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