he thought i was a dude.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
