areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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