before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize