using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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