i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
you never un-have a 4some
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
