his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
