she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
