Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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