Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize