Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
