i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
