i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You are a genius and a whore.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize