i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
