she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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