I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
if only i could text you this smell
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
