I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
