Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
