I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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