My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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