no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
They are going to name an STD after you.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
