shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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