ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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