she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize