did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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